A New Mommy

As a childless person I always hated hearing "you don't have children, you wouldn't understand." Yes, but, I wanted to say, "I am a human and I have empathy and love God's creation.

Now that I have a son, 6 1/2 months, I think I am starting to "get" what these people were saying to me. When you are fully responsible for another, helpless, human who looks to you for his complete survival, you become engaged in a way that only a parent understands. The responsibility is emense and goes far beyond remembering to feed and diaper this child. Unlike the plants in my house that I forget to water on a weekly basis, this child will learn to crawl and walk, talk and ponder ideas, grow and leave home. I have 16 - 22 years to leave an impression, teaching him what he needs to know and carry with him through life.

Today I learned that there was a killing at my former place of work. I was in the car at the time I learned of it, and my son in the car-seat, so I was not able to grab him and hug him upon learning this information. BUT, I prayed! I prayed for the victim and the alleged murderer. I prayed for the families. I prayed that I will be able to instill Christian values in my son. I prayed that I will show him Godly ways to manage his emotions. I prayed that my husband and I will raise a strong, Christian man.

Then I wondered, what must the attacker's mother be feeling right now? Is she blaming herself, wondering what she could have done differently when she was raising him? What sadness she must feel.

The good news is that we have a heavenly parent who understands all too well what this pain is like as an earthly parent. This is Maundy Thursday and for us it is a time of anticipation. Good Friday is the day that we mourn Jesus' crucifixion, or rather come to appreciate his sacrifice. How it must have grieved God to sacrifice His Son. How it grieves him when we make unwise and unfortunate decisions, as we are all his children.

I thank God for his grace and unfailing love every day, but today on the day that we anticipate the most amazing depiction of love, I thank him even more.

Jesus says in John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave us his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."