My life as a mom is such a blessing. Considering I am under stresses including financial pressure, a husband who is away, and an infant, truly, life is good. My son is playing on the floor nearby manipulating and alternately biting the little plastic firetruck and farm board-book which seem to give him all the joy in the world at the moment. He concentrates on how his hands twist and turn the toys and then goes back to biting them. With the attention of an 8 month old, who now has my computer in his sights, he plays and learns about this world into which he was newly initiated last fall.
As I think about how life changes, I wonder why that the child-like naivety that an infant has and can't remain. How can we recall the days of total amazement and wonder? Is it really too much to ask that an adult be awestruck by the bright lights at the grocery store? Or the big trucks that drive past our house? Or even the flowers that tickle our noses...How do we recapture this awe?
A devotional that I read a couple months ago still sticks with me. God has miracles revealed to us every day, we just don't see them because they seem so ordinary. But on those occasions that God answers some of the really big requests with a resounding "YES!" we become awestruck. "Leave me awestruck, Lord" Has become a part of my daily prayer, and I believe he answers it with "YES!" every day, with a beautiful, patient, fun 8 month old boy named Hunter.
He's after the laptop, gotta run!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Peace in a Storm
Have you ever sensed peace in your life, but there is no real logical reason to have peace? My situation is as if I look at my life as the eye of a hurricane. The most comfortable, peaceful place to be is in the middle of the storm. No wind or rain, just watching the event happen in a rush around me. This is about how I feel now.
Tim and I are blessed that he has a job now, working as a truck driver M- F, home weekends. The first week of him out on his own was like being dunked in the deep end. It is exciting to know that there will be a REAL paycheck come Friday. We now evaluate - what's next? We need some goals, some focus that isn't just about paying the bills or putting food on the table.
When we were new home owners and anticipating our son's arrival, we knew that all things are possible, but not sure how great things that we anticipated would materialize. We really thought Tim's business was about to take the industry by storm, just to have the economy and housing market take a nose dive and our dreams, temporarily, with them. As we look forward now, it seems that this is the first time in 4 months or more that we feel sure that we are making the right moves toward caring for our family and moving toward greater goals.
One thing is for sure, without the ability to have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, my nerves would be shot and my sense of peace would be nonexistent. I just think, "I can do all things (and endure all things) in Him who strengthens me." Thanks be to God!
Tim and I are blessed that he has a job now, working as a truck driver M- F, home weekends. The first week of him out on his own was like being dunked in the deep end. It is exciting to know that there will be a REAL paycheck come Friday. We now evaluate - what's next? We need some goals, some focus that isn't just about paying the bills or putting food on the table.
When we were new home owners and anticipating our son's arrival, we knew that all things are possible, but not sure how great things that we anticipated would materialize. We really thought Tim's business was about to take the industry by storm, just to have the economy and housing market take a nose dive and our dreams, temporarily, with them. As we look forward now, it seems that this is the first time in 4 months or more that we feel sure that we are making the right moves toward caring for our family and moving toward greater goals.
One thing is for sure, without the ability to have a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, my nerves would be shot and my sense of peace would be nonexistent. I just think, "I can do all things (and endure all things) in Him who strengthens me." Thanks be to God!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Decisions Decisions
Have you ever wished you could hire someone else to make your decisions for you? "What will it be today for dessert: chocolate milk shake or german chocolate cake?" Hmmm, I think ... both!
As a part of trying to simplify our lives, I realize that we must make choices about what we are willing to live without. Yesterday on Oprah, families had 7 and 14 day experiements looking at what they could live without. As I examin my own life I realize that there isn't really , anything that I couldn't live without. There are things that I really enjoy, but other than food and water, I can live without most things.
Today, we were posed with a question about whether we should be keeping our house or not. Immediately I wondered, "but where would I live?" Then I remembered, that has already been prepared. Then I thought, "but I like my home and yard, and the new vegetable garden we planted." While on the phone with my husband this evening I realized that if we can live more cheaply by moving out of our home and living in a comparable place for $200 - $500 less per month, that is $2400 - $6000 per year in the bank....
My mom talked to me about the sacrifices that stay at home moms often have to make financially. "We didn't have what a lot of my friends had..." she said. "If you are OK with that, then you'll do fine with being a s.a.m." Moms are so wise! How much more important is my son then any thing!
The decision that I wish someone else would make for me is what to do with our home. I love our home, but I love my husband and son more, and making sure that their futures and happiness are secure is more imporant to me then budgeting down to the nub, squeezing water from a rock, in order to pay our mortgage.
It's a hard decision. We think we know what we need to do. Thank goodness there is someone who will walk with us through this every step of the way: the person of Jesus Christ! Praise God!
As a part of trying to simplify our lives, I realize that we must make choices about what we are willing to live without. Yesterday on Oprah, families had 7 and 14 day experiements looking at what they could live without. As I examin my own life I realize that there isn't really , anything that I couldn't live without. There are things that I really enjoy, but other than food and water, I can live without most things.
Today, we were posed with a question about whether we should be keeping our house or not. Immediately I wondered, "but where would I live?" Then I remembered, that has already been prepared. Then I thought, "but I like my home and yard, and the new vegetable garden we planted." While on the phone with my husband this evening I realized that if we can live more cheaply by moving out of our home and living in a comparable place for $200 - $500 less per month, that is $2400 - $6000 per year in the bank....
My mom talked to me about the sacrifices that stay at home moms often have to make financially. "We didn't have what a lot of my friends had..." she said. "If you are OK with that, then you'll do fine with being a s.a.m." Moms are so wise! How much more important is my son then any thing!
The decision that I wish someone else would make for me is what to do with our home. I love our home, but I love my husband and son more, and making sure that their futures and happiness are secure is more imporant to me then budgeting down to the nub, squeezing water from a rock, in order to pay our mortgage.
It's a hard decision. We think we know what we need to do. Thank goodness there is someone who will walk with us through this every step of the way: the person of Jesus Christ! Praise God!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Out of the Woods or Out of the Valley
It has been a week or more since writing. While this is not ideal, it is because of some good that is happening in our lives. I was at my parents' while my husband was in orientation for a new (near by) trucking job. We are praising God for this opportunity!
Our prayers have been full of questions and requests: "why did the business fail?" "What do we do now, with 3 mouths to feed (including an infant) and a mortgage?" "Please help us find a job for Tim and allow us to make more than enough to live, so that we might bless others too!" Sometimes I wonder if these are the right requests. They are genuine, so I am guessing it is ok.
In any case, I take quiet time now to reflect on the fact that, while we are not "out of the woods" financially, my Tim is now employed and driving truck. For now, at least, he is home weekends, gone Monday - Friday. Initially we thought this would be a temporary thing, but we are not sure. We are just greatful that Tim is working and bringing in money for the family.
I mentioned in my last post that I am tempted to find a job myself. There is a local position that if applied for, I believe I would get it. However, I really desire to be at home with my son. I know that it may mean working more later, when Tim is looking at retirement. However, I think working outside the home, away from my son would bring me great sadness. He is more of a priority over having "extra" money in the bank, which I haven't had for years... hence the temptation.
I entitled this "Out of the Woods or Out of the Valley", because I think that sometimes we have to make choices. I think that ultimately both goals are possible, but the rate at which they happen depends on whether I focus on them one at a time or at the same time. Case in point: We really want to be "out of the woods" financially, so that we can easily live within our means and save for our college educations, retirement and just plan living. However, we also value our family time together now and having me at home to raise our son. This time while he is so young is so fleeting and something I want to completely enjoy. So it seems, if I leave the home to be a working mother, the faster we'll be financially out of the woods, but the more likely I'll remain "IN the valley."
I am thankful for my family, my friends and extended family who support us through this hard time, Tim's new job, my home, and the knowledge that I have the strength of Jesus Christ on my side, so no matter the challenge at least I know where I will be in eternity! There, I will be both Out of the Woods AND Out of the Valley!
Our prayers have been full of questions and requests: "why did the business fail?" "What do we do now, with 3 mouths to feed (including an infant) and a mortgage?" "Please help us find a job for Tim and allow us to make more than enough to live, so that we might bless others too!" Sometimes I wonder if these are the right requests. They are genuine, so I am guessing it is ok.
In any case, I take quiet time now to reflect on the fact that, while we are not "out of the woods" financially, my Tim is now employed and driving truck. For now, at least, he is home weekends, gone Monday - Friday. Initially we thought this would be a temporary thing, but we are not sure. We are just greatful that Tim is working and bringing in money for the family.
I mentioned in my last post that I am tempted to find a job myself. There is a local position that if applied for, I believe I would get it. However, I really desire to be at home with my son. I know that it may mean working more later, when Tim is looking at retirement. However, I think working outside the home, away from my son would bring me great sadness. He is more of a priority over having "extra" money in the bank, which I haven't had for years... hence the temptation.
I entitled this "Out of the Woods or Out of the Valley", because I think that sometimes we have to make choices. I think that ultimately both goals are possible, but the rate at which they happen depends on whether I focus on them one at a time or at the same time. Case in point: We really want to be "out of the woods" financially, so that we can easily live within our means and save for our college educations, retirement and just plan living. However, we also value our family time together now and having me at home to raise our son. This time while he is so young is so fleeting and something I want to completely enjoy. So it seems, if I leave the home to be a working mother, the faster we'll be financially out of the woods, but the more likely I'll remain "IN the valley."
I am thankful for my family, my friends and extended family who support us through this hard time, Tim's new job, my home, and the knowledge that I have the strength of Jesus Christ on my side, so no matter the challenge at least I know where I will be in eternity! There, I will be both Out of the Woods AND Out of the Valley!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
